We hear the term used often, “Me Time.” It’s something we all need, but rarely get enough of…and when Motherhood sets in, it definitely becomes a challenge. I envy the Moms who never miss a step. They have a child and are able to seamlessly continue date nights with their partner, hang out with their girlfriends and still be the best Moms they can be… Now, I KNOW all Moms can relate to some type of adjustment period after having a baby, but for some of us, going on a date night or taking “Me Time,” can be a bit more of a challenge.
I think I’ve struggled with it for some of the same basic reasons other Moms will cite, like lack of child care, mommy guilt and plain fatigue. I mean sometimes the only me time I want is uninterrupted sleep…and that’s totally fine if that’s all you want. BUT I would be remiss not to mention some of the deeper issues I have dealt with in my post-pregnancy life. For me, along the way, a disconnect grew between me and my partner. Maybe it was the hyper focus on being good parents and providing a happy home for them, that we put us on the back-burner. Now, finding a way to hang out and get to know each other again can be awkward because it’s centered so much around our children.
Then there’s the trust issue. I’ll admit it can be hard to leave your babies in someone else’s care…and it’s a process to let go and give that trust to someone. Also, until recently I was living thousands of miles away from my family, so there was no (free) family backup child care and support. If I wanted to go out without the kids, it would come with a cost…since babysitters are not free.
So all this to say that, as of late, I have been doing more of ME and away from the kids. I spent a weekend in Arizona reminiscing about my days as an NFL Cheerleader with the Arizona Cardinals. I can actually count a couple dates I’ve gone on with my significant other in the last month, I have upcoming plans with my girlfriends…and overall, I find myself more willing to take family and friends up on their offers to watch my kids, so I can have sometime for myself. It’s a work in progress, but we all need it..the “Me Time.” And if I could offer any advice to new Moms or Moms who maybe feel lost or desperately want to regain that sense of self…that’d be to just do it! Find a way to make time to do the things that you want to do, that make you feel good about yourself as a Mom and beyond.