We’ve been living in Sacramento for almost a year now, and the one thing my younger son has been asking for and looking forward to since the move, was celebrating his birthday at home and having his friends come over. Well, enter COVID-19 and the age of “social distancing,” and there went that idea.
At first, I tried to wait it out thinking, maybe things will get better and open up, so I reserved a bounce house with a water slide thinking we’d keep the gathering small to less than 10 people. Of course, I realize everyone has different situations and comfort levels, so I didn’t expect too much. However, as the date crept closer, I started to feel like it was irresponsible to proceed as planned.
That’s when his Dad came up with a great idea! We could rent a dunk tank and his friends could just stop by and keep the distance, but still celebrate in person. It was easy enough to switch my reservation with the bounce house company and rather than a birthday parade with honking and drive by guests, they could come to the house to try and “slam dunk” the birthday boy!
It really worked out well and everyone was pretty impressed by such a creative idea. Plus, it was lots of fun as everyone took turns trying to hit the arm and dunk him…which isn’t as easy as it looks, but unlike a carnival where you have to pay for tickets for a throw…at our slam dunk part, everyone’s a winner!
The way I phrased the invite, I gave a time window for guests to come by and say hi. We set everything up on the front driveway and we gave out pre-packaged birthday cupcakes and other snacks for guests. Also, it turned out our guests came in waves, so while people did stay for a little bit, there was never too many hanging out…and did I mention the high this day was 107 degrees! It was hot!
And, of course we had to have a piñata, which technically promotes social distancing, because you always have to stand back, so you don’t get hit! Now thinking about that day, it was totally worth it to rent the dunk tank, and we wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
If you’re trying to think of ways to social distance and still “party” with the young ones, I have a few more ideas. Sidewalk chalk greetings and drawing in front of your home are fun, freeze dance or a hula hoop contest could also work. Another idea I gave to a friend was setting up an obstacle course on the front lawn and having guests do the course when they stop by.
**This is a “Summer Survival Guide” guest post by Laura Hernandez**
This summer is set up to be a summer unlike any other! I am here to help. And instead of adding more crazy to an already chaotic year, let’s get back to the basics. I want to help you set up simple routines and easy systems that take back a little control for you, Mama, and give a bit of control to your kiddos, too.
Here are five ways we thrive at home with our ten kids during the long summer days.
WORKING
There are a few key themes that come up over and over when I coach Mamas. One of those is Teamwork. It is often “easiest” for Mama to do all the work while the kids play because teaching them to do the work themselves is, well, hard! It takes time and extra effort to get them working. But it is worth it on so many levels.
In our house, when everyone wakes up they have set jobs to do. The jobs are the same every day. This keeps arguing and excuses and fighting with you and siblings to a minimum. Give your kids age-appropriate jobs like putting pajamas away, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning up breakfast, feeding animals, etc.
The best way to keep your sanity this summer is to create a team mentality. You are all in this together. Whoever is living in your house should also be contributing to the household work. In our home we have morning, afternoon, and evening jobs.
LEARNING
After breakfast and jobs, it is time for educational work. I know, I know. You just got done homeschooling for three months. But the best way to keep that learning up (and help your kids to feel accomplished and productive) is to do a little learning during the summer.
We scale down school a bit but still love to have our kids stretch themselves academically. Every child is different, and you will know best (especially right now!) what will benefit your child to practice over the next two months.
Other families I’ve coached have implemented activities like reading one chapter, reading for one hour, coding, drilling flashcards with siblings, or learning using apps/sites like Starfall or Reading Eggs.
After they are done with their learning work, they have free time until lunch. Which leads me to…
EATING
We have lunch at noon and have a repeated weekly menu to help with decision fatigue on my end. Decision Fatigue is when the act of making many decisions over a period of time decreases the quality of the decisions made. One thing I LOVE to coach Mamas on is eliminating decisions where possible to decrease this phenomenon in their house.
For Example… on Mondays, we have chicken nuggets and fruit. On Tuesdays, we always eat hot dogs and carrots, etc. This sets expectations (our second theme word) which helps curb whining and also helps me with planning. And, bonus, it eliminates the time I spend staring blankly into the fridge!
We do this at dinner, too. We have theme nights for dinner and make menus weekly within those categories… i.e. taco night, grilling night, take out night, pasta night, breakfast for dinner night, etc! Batchworking (third theme word!) the planning and prepping of mealswill take a weight off you, Mama.
RESTING
After lunch time is QUIET TIME! This is a must in our house so that I can get recharged and get some work done. The kids have a choice of activities that will keep them quiet and minimize interruptions to my work hours.
Giving kids limited choices throughout the day helps them feel like they have a bit of control in a time that’s out of control. It also eliminates whining because they’re in charge of making some decisions about how they spend their time.
We love open-ended games and (shh!) even sneaking in some additional learning…Legos, audiobooks, podcasts for kids, cards, coloring, board games, and Magna-Tiles. In the Mama System’s Summer Survival Guide, we have a whole list of ideas within these categories for you!
When quiet time is over they have free time until afternoon jobs when they clean up a Zone Area and help get ready for dinner and then…
PLAYING
Here is the best part about summer for us. We have daily theme nights! We have set expectations for everything else, so let’s do the same for fun.
These nights can be as elaborate or simple as you would like to make them. Here are some things we do and you’ll notice this is another easy way to give kids limited choices:
Sunday Sundaes – It is simply a bowl of ice cream and they get to choose their sprinkles. This is not fancy or difficult but they all love it and look forward to it every week.
Culture Night – Each week, we pick a different culture to learn about. We have kids find a popular dish, music from their culture, and find 5 fun facts that they can share with us at dinner.
More Ideas – Movie Night (mattresses in living room, candy in boxes and popcorn, outside movie), Water Night (swimming, water balloons, sprinkler on the trampoline), Family Bake-Off (the kids divide into teams and compete for the best dessert), Something New Night (try something new together as a family) and Game Night.
So here’s the bottom line… In this summer of continued chaos, let’s make a plan for routine and calm within our homes! Turn your family into a team. Set expectations for work and for fun. Batchwork your meal planning. Simplify your life! This will carry into your next school year and set the tone for years to come. You got this, Mama.
Laura Hernandez and her husband are parents to 10 kids between the ages of 1 and 14 in Parker, Texas. Her kids are both biological and adopted. Laura has a few kids with special needs who go to public school while the others are homeschooled. When Laura’s family suddenly grew from 4 kids to 10 kids, she was struggling and looking for answers. Laura read a number of books and sought after advice. She quickly realized there was no perfect solution for her and her family. She decided to take everything she learned and created MamaSystems.net. The platform is dedicated to providing coaching and support to overwhelmed parents so their house is filled with love, tranquility and peace.
Do I have your attention? The title of this blog post sounds pretty charged, right? At first read, it’s definitely not PC in these volatile times of protests and demonstrations to fight for justice and make sure black voices are heard, and more importantly that their lives matter. Amid all this chaos and noise of the current climate, the pain and sadness I feel and see, this quote, the title of this post, came to my mind. “My Friend’s Not Black.”
About a couple years ago, I started the conversation with my boys about their cultural heritage. They were only about 4 and 5 at the time, but I felt it was time to gauge their understanding of race and ethnicity, and I wanted them to know about their heritage. Honestly they didn’t know much, and for them to comprehend being half Black (Daddy) and half Filipino (Mommy), was a new concept. However, because I told them that’s what they were, they accepted it.
As I tried to find examples and ways to communicate the “race” concept to them, I made reference to one of their good friends. He’s the same age as my older son, and they attended the same school and played on the same little league baseball team together. This friend is African-American, and I know that because I am a grown up and well, I just know.
Well, in my explanation – which I thought would help them identify a bit better with what it means to be mixed (i.e. half of one ethnic group and half of another), they rejected it! I believe I said something to the effect of your friend “Ryan” is Filipino and your friend “Jay” is Black or African-American, so you are a mixture of both those races, because Mommy is Filipino and Daddy is Black. Now, while they accepted that “Ryan” was Filipino, they refused to see that “Jay” was Black.
This is where the blog post title comes in. I distinctly recall my son saying “Jay” is not Black. And I replied, yes he is honey, he’s African-American. So, in all his innocent intelligence my son replied to me, “How do you know? He didn’t say he is.” Then, as I tried to reason and explain my POV, he again said, “My Friend’s Not Black.” It was a mind-blowing moment for me, proof that children view the world without assumptions or judgement, and only learn and know what we (parents) tell them. On top of that, he wasn’t telling me his friend’s not Black because “black” is a bad thing, he said it because he was coming at me more like, “Mom how do you know!?”
It seemed so obvious to me (as a grown up), but, I was so thankful and in awe of my child who rejected what I was saying, and didn’t want to assume or judge his friend’s race, based on what I was telling him. Again, what seemed obvious to me, was not a fact for him, simply because his friend did not tell him that.
I love telling this story, and I think right now is as good a time as ever to tell it. “Jay” is still a dear friend to both of my boys, and if you take away anything from this story, I hope to drive home the notion that children only know what we tell them, what we teach them and what they see from us. Children are not born to be racist, rather they are conditioned to have prejudice and make assumptions about others, it is a learned concept. If they are taught that differences make others “inferior” and unworthy, that’s the attitude they will carry, and potentially pass on.
Acceptance and understanding begins at home. Can you imagine if we all did our part to educate ourselves and our children, on topics like race, ethnicity and culture? I’m more than willing to bet the future will be better because of it. Differences are what makes us unique, but we all belong and deserve to be here together. Black Live Matter.
I had the opportunity to interview Meena Harris on my show today! She is the founder and CEO of Phenomenal Woman, a female-powered lifestyle brand that brings awareness to social causes, and the author of Kamala and Maya’s Big Idea.
She is a Harvard Law graduate, entrepreneur and mom, who is now adding the title of Children’s Book author to her resume. I previewed her new book Kamala and Maya’s Big Idea and read it to my 6-year old, and he was into it!
The book has great illustrations and the story is based on a true story of Meena’s mother, Maya, and aunt, Kamala (i.e. US Senator Kamala Harris). In the story, two sisters turned the unused courtyard in their apartment building into an area for kids to play.
Another thing I love about this book, is it highlights not only two female main characters, but also diversity. I know with my kids, it’s important for them to be able to relate to what they see and read in books, not only just their interests, but also people of color and from backgrounds/cultures similar to their own.
Meena was a great interview and had lots of insightful ideas and information when it comes to social causes and equality. One of the key points that really stood out to me is this fact:
In 2018, fewer than a third of all U.S. children’s books featured a person of color as a main character.
Click here to learn more about Phenomenal Woman and be sure to check out her new book children’s Kamala and Maya’s Big Idea.
I don’t know about everyone else, but this distance learning is not easy! It was one thing to help my kids with their nightly homework assignments and try to figure out how to do “common core,” but managing their assignments, tempering emotions (theirs and mine), plus keeping them focused and on track for school, is tough to say the least!
A lot of us have questions about online learning, especially as we all learn as we go. I know one of my concerns has been making sure they stay on target as far as meeting education standards for their grade level and also keeping them sharp and prepared, as they will transition to the next grade level (hopefully this fall), without ever having gone back to the teacher they abruptly left.
At any rate, it is challenging and we could all use some support, reassurance and insight on how to not only get through this period, but also what it may look like when we come out o the other side, as well as why it’s important to embrace the digital tools available to us and spin our perspectives to the positive.
I spoke with the CEO and Co-Founder of Study.com, Adrian Ridner and he offered some tips, advice and guidance on distance learning and what we can do to help our kids as they do school from home. A few of his key points included managing expectations for ourselves and the kids, viewing this “screen time,” as a benefit where we can connect and access the resources we need and he doesn’t believe online learning will replace our traditional learning institutions.
My new “normal” of juggling work from home, schooling from home and just being home ALL THE TIME, is making me anxious. On the one hand, I was thrown back to my days of being the stay at home Mom when the kids were still rolling around in a stroller…which is sort of like self-quarantine, because one thing I always craved was adult interaction.
Fast-forward, now the kids are school age and while they are self-sufficient in some ways, distance learning and keeping them (educationally) engaged are the new challenges. I try to give my kids balance, some screen time as long as they complete school assignments, and then encouraging them to play outside or inviting them to join me for my walks and workouts.
However, a common theme and complaint is the “I’m bored.” I wish it was as easy as saying, well let’s go here, or why don’t we invite so and so over for a playdate. *sigh* All this to say, I created a roundup of Children’s Activity and Craft Kits/Boxes/Sets…ideas really that are all “Aubrey Approved!”
I do this segment (for work) of items that I hand-pick and create product roundups with a theme. I felt this one was very necessary, since I’m sure many parents are also looking for different activities and projects to keep their kids busy, while also having some fun.
The thing I like about these items is they offer multiple activities and really help the kids be creative and encourage them to think independently to complete the tasks and assignments.
Among my picks are artistic pieces the kids can bring to life, STEAM and STEM, coding, cooking, jewelry making and current events centered projects. From monthly subscription boxes to one-off projects, I put something in the mix for everyone!
Watch the video for all the details and here’s the complete rundown of items for more info!
We’re entering week 4 for the stay at home, shelter in place, self-quarantine orders in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, and I’m pretty sure we are all starting to feel it. When I say “it,” I mean the stress, the fear, uncertainty and challenges of trying to do it all.
And one of the most frequent requests from my kids is, ” What do we have to eat?” This question is also a big challenge because I would love to have more time to cook up or even think up healthy snacks and meals to have on tap for them..but the reality is…I don’t, and sometimes it seems easier to direct them to the prepackaged (sort of) junk foods in the cabinets.
Thankfully I spoke with Chef Rebekah via Zoom, and she gave me a few easy kid-friendly recipes, and also offered tips on pantry staples and what items to have on hand, to help keep those hunger monsters from driving you completely nuts! Well, you know what I mean…we can all be a little “nasty” when hunger sets in!
A few of the items she suggests keeping stocked in our kitchens that keep, are fresh eggs, crackers & pretzels, frozen veggies and peanut butter. Chef Rebekah’s ideas and tips can all be found at readyseteat.com
If your kids are anything like mine, when it comes to storybooks and reading, they tend to stick to one book that we read over and over for a little while before they take up interest in a new one. I get it, the repetition and familiarity is a great way for them to learn and hey, if they find a book they like, I am all for it. But let’s be honest, it can also get boring…for me!
A friend of mine recently shared a book written by her father (Don Rose), and husband (Javier Lopez), “When the Day Ends… and Dreams Begin...” It’s a big story book filled with several unique, short stories and poems, perfect for boys and girls! My kids immediately took to the book and chose which ones they wanted me to read first. A couple of my early takeaways from the book are the fun, playful moral stories and cute illustrations to match. The stories are perfect for bedtime to read 1 or 2 and it’s a nice blend of text and pictures.
Often times my boys will argue over which book they get before bed and with this book, they can each get the same book, (and share), but pick their own unique story out of it. The themes for the stories are very relate-able whether is be about siblings, growing up and animals, or geared toward dreaming big, like being a race car driver!
If you’re looking for a new book that will produce a new story every time you open it, I would suggest you check this one out. You can learn more about this book by visiting https://roselopezbooks.com/
Calling all cookie monsters! Molly Hamilton is changing the cookie game with her very own food innovation, Molly’s Bakeovers. Like me, this Mom is a cookie lover, but when it comes to her four kids, they all have food allergies.
So, Molly took matters into her own hands and decided to make a treat her kids could enjoy, without the stuff that wouldn’t love them back. And in doing so, she made over the traditional cookie, with a cross between a cookie and granola bar aka “One Smart Cookie!” They are healthy, tasty and free of the most commons allergens that keep some kids from cookies!
Bakeovers are gluten, dairy, egg, soy, and nut free, with no added sugar. The only “tree nut” is a coconut! Flavors include chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, blueberry and apple pie. YUM!! These smart cookies are popping up on store shelves from California to Hawaii and now in the Bay Area and the East Coast too! Visit Bakeovers online for all the delicious details.
The boys and I trekked over to Marin for a hike through Muir Woods. I had always heard about Muir Woods and the giant redwoods, but I had never actually made the trip, so I figured it would be a fun day trip to do with my boys. My sister and her 2-month old baby boy also joined us for the excursion. I didn’t do much research before our visit, I had a decent idea of where to go and what to expect…so I went with it!
Muir Woods is part of the Golden Gate National Recreation Area, and it’s known for its giant redwood trees! My boys have a thing right now where they’re trying to understand measurements and anything “100 tall” is as big as it gets, so I figured they’d get a kick out of these super tall trees…plus, we’d all get a workout in!
One of the thing I really appreciated about the main trail is that the beginning is made up of a wood boardwalk and the terrain is easy to navigate. Although it was a very sunny day, once you get inside, the trees provide lots of cover and shade and it can get a little cool, so be sure to layer. However, I loved that it was a comfortable walk with a few different choices of places to hike and 3 different bridges you could cross to tailor the length and duration of your hike.
I’m not a usual hiker, but I figured I’d sport my favorite Fabletics workout gear. Yes, I’m wearing a fanny pack …and yes, I’m “posing” in the woods. Both of those photos are courtesy of my 4-year old. These pants are great for just about any workout and hiking too, and equal parts fashion and function! I love the mesh panels in the back of these pants because it’s fashionable, comfortable and keeps me cool. I’ve gotten numerous compliments while out and about while wearing Fabletics and the price point is affordable too!
My guys had a great time on the trail running ahead of me and my sister…the terrain is easy enough where my sister wore her baby and I didn’t have to worry too much about my boys slipping and falling… If you’re quiet (my boys have issues with noise control), you can even hear the water running through the center of the woods.
They got a kick out of looking for sticks along the way and seeing how many “holes” they could find within the wood fence lining the groves of trees. There was also one tree that was still standing and hollowed out where they could stand inside to get a feeling for the depth and size of the trees.
All in all, it’s a great day or even half-day trip. The drive out there on Highway 1 is pretty curvy, so be sure to allow for extra time to get out there, and we’ve heard the nearby parking lots can get pretty packed. We went around 11am on a weekday and didn’t have an issue. Restrooms are located near the parking lot and also once you enter Muir Woods near the cafe. Yes, there is a cafe and gift shop there, so it’s a nice place to check out after your hike. We actually packed some lunch and found a nice bench to enjoy our food before driving home. If you haven’t checked it out, make sure to put this one on your list of things to do with the kids!
