Haute Mom: Kelsey Van Kirk

Posted on Mar 11 2016 - 11:05am by Aubrey

Kelsey Van KirkName: Kelsey Van Kirk
Children & Ages: Julianna (5) Sophia (4) Chloe (2) Isabel (1)
Hometown/Current Location: Charlotte, NC
Quick Bio: Hey there, I’m Kelsey – wife, mama to four princesses, founder of TheHomeLovingWife.com and inspirational life coach for women. I am super passionate about inspiring and empowering women to create and live grace-filled lives of balance, beauty, simplicity and success. I believe that snuggling, chocolate and wine are good for your health, laughter is the best medicine for the soul and in the amazing, transformative power of love. You can follow along with me on InstagramFacebookTwitter and Pinterest.

Q: How do you balance being a Mommy and keeping your sense of self?
A: The biggest ways are by making sure to block out time in my life to do things I enjoy – things that fuel my soul. For me, fitness is huge. It makes me feel good about myself (not to mention gives me strength and energy, which every mama needs!) I also love to read, watch movies and enjoy time with my husband. Since launching my blog at the end of 2015 that has been a great way for me to reclaim a bit of who I was before having kids, while simultaneously incorporating who I am now into it. It’s given me a creative outlet that has also allowed me to pour into other women’s lives, which are two things that make me feel like me!

Q: What is your favorite piece of advice to new Moms?
A: “You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.” Oh, and can I add another?? “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Time and time again I see moms fall into a nasty cycle of feeling a crushing burden to take care of everything and everyone before themselves – and it’s an equation that just doesn’t add up! We mamas have to remember that in order to give our best to our families, we have to give our best to ourselves first.

Q: How do you incorporate fitness into your daily routine?
A: I get my kids in on the action, and they love it! We used to go to our local YMCA for 2 hours a day (because, free childcare, hello?!) but recently we’ve temporarily become a one-car household, so I’ve had to get creative. I will put on fun music and get the girls to join me for a dance party or I’ll put on a fitness DVD for them to do along with me. I find that including them is the only way I will get at-home workouts done. I’m just not motivated enough during this season to take the time for fitness when they’re all asleep! It’s working for now – but I do look forward to being able to get back to the gym. Although we will ALWAYS have our dance parties!

Van Kirk Family 2015

Q: How would you describe your parenting style?
A: I’ll be the first to admit that I struggle with being a helicopter parent – even now, after having 4 kids. You’d think I would have relaxed by now! I’ve always struggled with perfectionism and have many OCD tendencies, so it’s a daily challenge for me to allow my kids to try things and make mistakes instead of just doing everything for them. But my biggest parenting “philosophy”, if you will, is to be real. I am 100% honest and open with my kids about everything. I explain when I’m having a tough time and why and try to always take personal responsibility and apologize when I’ve been cranky or had a bad attitude. I want my kids to learn about life the way it really is so they know how to manage their own expectations, and I want them to learn how to effectively communicate with people. In our family we are all about teaching our kids to do everything motivated from a place of love and grace. And when we don’t get it right, we make it right.

Q: What’s your most memorable Mommy moment to date?
A: This might seem strange, but each of my birth experiences are what stick out. I absolutely loved childbirth because not only was it an incredibly intimate and connected experience with each of my children, but it also showed me how strong I could be and what I could overcome. I fought fiercely for my kids and knew after each of my births that I could do, would do anything for them.

Q: As a Mommy what is it that you feel you do “right”?
A: I think I’m good at communicating about life with my kids, while still nurturing their sense of curiosity and wonder. I love that they know they can come to me with questions and trust my responses. And I love that they seem to feel safe and loved no matter what they do.

Q: Share something you have learned about yourself since you became a Mom.
A: I grew up thinking of myself as being very fragile – like one day I might break under the weight of life. But becoming a mom has shown me time and time again how truly strong I am. I’ve overcome so much and fought to grow and adapt and become the person I am today. I never in a million years dreamed that I could be as strong as I feel now.

Q: Describe your “Haute Mom” (fashion) style!
A: I am all about having good style, no matter if you are a mama who spends all your time at home, or if you go out into the world on the daily. For me personally, I love wearing pieces that are super cute and super functional. I’m all about comfort. I love my leggings and skinny jeans, cute and comfy tops and sweaters, and I adore a good sundress! My style can be pretty eclectic too. I like to mix classic and minimalist styles with a bit of rocker edge and some boho glam thrown in there for good measure!